So apparently one of little G’s teachers told him about his autism.
We haven’t really addressed it with him yet, as he feels too young to understand what that really means. He is only four, and I strive to provide as much of a normal childhood as we can. Within reason, of course. We have to alter alot of our life. It isn’t easy, but we want to support and love him through his hard moments. We want to continue to build him up because I know there will be a point where he will no longer be protected by us. It scares me to think about him growing older and going to school, kids can be so cruel. Heck, even adults can be.
But today…y’all…today he told us that he loves his autism. I had to ask him twice what he said, because I was sure he didn’t say that. I was sure I had heard what I wanted to hear. “I have autism and I love my autism”
So many people see autism as this constant struggle, but I see it as this beautiful variant of what we deem “typical”. Our son has his challenges, but with them comes this amazing perspective of his.
Our son was one of the most complicated cases the developmental team had ever seen.
He is social, he has a sense of humor. He can often not look autistic. He sometimes makes eye contact. It is amazing when he does, and its perfectly ok when he doesn’t.
This week has been one of those unusual good weeks. He has been happy, and easier going(easy going will never describe him, but if I am honest it doesn’t me either!).
It has been something we really needed if I am honest.
I remember a couple of months ago, me and my husband sat in a special needs conference for parents. They had a young adult panel which was made of 5 incredible young adults who were either autistic or has Down Syndrome.
One of our biggest takeaways from that, was listening to their thankfulness for their autism.
Every single one of them stood up and said that while they have their challenges, they love their autism. It makes them extra special, and they see the world in a unique way. We walked away in tears.
One of my biggest fears of his autism diagnosis is, what will his future look like?
Will he be happy?
Will he be successful in today’s world?
Will he have friends?
Will he love his autism or resent being different?
Walking away from that conference, I felt a glimmer of hope.
Every day I strive to build self confidence in both my boys, that they will learn that their challenges are here to help grow their character, compassion, and empathy towards those who are different.
I constantly struggle feeling like I am not enough for them.
Between him and his older brother who also struggles with spd…all of our specialist appointments, therapies, etc. that I am forever in survival mode and not doing a good enough job as their mom.
Today hearing that he loves his autism…it gives me hope that we are doing something right.
It reminds me that God chose us to be his parents, and while life has been hard and incredibly challenging. He is allowing us to go through really hard things to build us into stronger people.
He has a vision for our life, one that is greater than we can imagine.
I can’t wait to keep watching these incredible little boys grow up, and grow into incredible men.